Welcome to the Coliseum

Child in Trouble

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 00:46:33 GMT

I'm at work and just heard over the scanner an EMS dispatch to an apartment where a 1-year-old child just drank bleach.

Everyone please raise this child's welfare up in whatever way you practice. There's strength in numbers.

Unfortunately, I'll probably never know the outcome.

Happiest of Birthdays

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:43:06 GMT

To my favorite member of the medical profession, mztasia !!!

Life may be crazy, but you're seriously blessed. Keep plugging away at the new degree and enjoy a celebration with your family!

Happy Birthday!

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:24:38 GMT

To that resident of the Shire, a computer geek extraordinaire, who loves her grandson and doesn't hesitate to get nekkid for a good cause ...

be4u !!!!!

May your next year of life bring you happiness and blessings.

One Story - Two Paradigms

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:29:51 GMT

Mythology:

The young Earth was visited by her lover, the Sky. After their lovemaking, Earth became pregnant. Soon, she gave birth to a lovely daughter, the Moon.

Science:

Early in our planet's history, when much of the Earth's surface was molten, a planet-sized asteroid hit the surface, creating a powerful explosion that sent about 70 percent of the Earth's molten surface into orbit, where gravity caused it to coalesce into a single large mass, our moon, locked in orbit around the planet.

How an event is seen depends on what knowledge and experience we bring to the witnessing of it.

Happy Birthday!

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:33:41 GMT

To my beautiful bride, mrs_spart !

She's the most wonderful woman in the world, and I am privileged to be her husband.

Madam, I'm Adam

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:51:26 GMT

I went to Wright's Donuts this morning (I'm a fat guy, I do that sometimes) for a couple of glazed chocolate numbers.

The baker, apparently psychically determining I have an English degree, offers that something witty he said that I don't remember (my mind was in Homer Simpson mode, not blind bard Homer mode) was a palindrome. Then he expands on that theme.

Baker: Do you know what the world's oldest palindrome is?

Spart: Huh?

Baker: "Madam, I'm Adam!"

Spart: No, that was my answer, "huh. H-U-H."

Baker: Oooh!

Blast and Curses, Fidelity Cable!

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:18:23 GMT

Teh Intrawebs is up and down like a teeter-totter at Trailer de Spart. So we will be posting only sporadically for a week or so, probably.

Things I Would Teach My Son If I Had One

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 01:52:29 GMT

1. Being a man is about living honorably, fulfilling your obligations and controlling your own destiny as much as possible.

2. Relationships with women are complicated in the modern world. You must always strive to find a balance between respecting them as different but equal and obeying the expectations of tradition and chivalry. Always let the individual woman set the tone for your interactions so you can learn how she wishes you to treat her. Sometimes you will fail at this and have to ask for forgiveness.

3. Never prejudge a person's intelligence or abilities based on his/her job or financial status. I've met janitors who were intellectuals and college professors and elected officials who were idiots.

4. Balls, brains, and bullshit (in that order) will take you far in life.

5. Be wary of bowing down to gods or governments, but show them due respect.

6. Avoid machismo. It's fake masculinity for those who wouldn't know the real thing if it bit them on the ass. A real man is humble, open to new things, and knows that boasting is for drunks and children.

7. Never stop learning new things, even when they are out of your areas of expertise. No one ever failed at something because he knew too much, but a lot of people fail because they are ignorant.

8. Treat everyone with basic respect, until they have earned your disrespect.

9. Violence should always be your last resort. But if it's called for, do your damnedest and don't hesitate.

10. A sense of humor and the ability to communicate effectively with anyone can be two of your most valuable tools in life.

11. Everyone is afraid, they just hide it. Courage is acting in spite of fear.

12. Find a good partner to share your life - someone who is not only a lover, but a friend, confidant, advisor and companion.

Questions Without Proper Answers, No. 8752

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:17:08 GMT

I have a lot of sympathy for people who suffer from autism. You can feel them trapped inside themselves, unable to connect properly with the outside world, like they have some kind of faulty interface mechanism.

Today I did a story about a special education class making American Flags to commemorate 9/11. Pretty standard feel-good stuff.

But, like all special ed classes, this was very mixed group. Among them was an autistic girl - a senior - who is not quite to the level of functional, but obviously bright, with an excellent vocabulary.

Unlike the two autistic boys in the group, she wasn't too nervous to be interviewed. It was a chore to interview her. Getting past the twists and roadblocks an autistic person has is difficult, but not always impossible. Especially when dealing with someone trying as hard as she was. And she was so happy, so eager to win approval.

I felt so bad for her, because I could almost glimpse the young woman she might have been without this thing blocking her every attempt to deal with anything or anyone outside herself.

She's a Katrina refugee. She told me about how she used to take private painting lessons when she lived in New Orleans and she loves any chance to paint, even something simple like a flag.

After everything she's been through, all I could do was silently wish this kid the best. From various clues, I can deduce she has a decent family. I just hope they are there to protect her and care for her next year, when she's no longer in the public school system.

As always when I deal with special ed, it bothers me that kids like her get lumped in with everything from victims of mental retardation to juvenile delinquents who have emotional problems to those poor kids who are practically vegetables.

There has to be a better way, but damned if I know how we can accomplish it in the public school system.

Thoughts on Healthcare Reform

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 01:26:40 GMT

I'm listening to the President's speech and thinking about the plan he is currently outlining.

While I've spent much time defending Obama on this issue, mainly from misinformation, misunderstandings, and flat-out lies, it's now appropriate for me to outline where I respectfully differ with his proposal.

Even though I am a libertarian at heart, I am not necessarily opposed to what we are now calling a "public option." As a practical matter, it has become a necessity in our society, in my opinion.

It has a place in any reform package, since essentially it would simply be an expansion of the current Medicaid/Medicare programs, which even most conservatives who are willing to face financial reality for millions in this country are willing to accept in some form.

Where I part ways with our President is his plan to fine individuals who do not purchase insurance, and companies who do not offer it. This is a bad idea, and we need only look at the economies of Germany and France to see that.

And as for fining individuals, I can't support that. Never. I know it's already done in Massachusetts, but sorry. Too intrusive. Too much. Too paternal. The car insurance analogy does not apply. No one is forced to own a car.

We've come to a juncture, I believe. Changes have to be made, and government will have to be more involved. We will probably have to replace the tyranny of gigantic, heartless insurance companies with the more benevolent tyranny of a well-meaning but inept government healthcare system. Not because we want to, but because we don't have a lot of options.

What I don't want to see, is to put this on the backs of employers. If we're going to do a public option, then let's go all the way and create something similar to the UK's National Health Service. We could pay for it with a national sales tax (a tax on consumption, not income), and reform the IRS codes to have everyone pay a flat income tax, with exemptions for people at the absolute bottom of the financial heap, and no deductions, period. Every individual, household, organization, business would pay a flat rate, whatever that happens to be.

Of course none of that will happen. It's too radical. And yes, a national healthcare system has drawbacks, big ones. But its main advantage is that everyone is covered, all the time. Private healthcare and private insurance would still be allowed, but it would have to compete with the government-run system, just like it does in other western nations.

Tort reform will also have to be a part of any package, as well as a review of prescription practices. Many doctors are seriously overmedicating patients, which has both health and financial consequences.

How can I support this way of thinking and still call myself a libertarian? Because I live in the real world. Medical science has reached a place where it can achieve miracles. But it has also reached a level of expense beyond the average person's means, even with insurance. Plus, insurance companies are in the business of denying coverage and claims, otherwise they would not turn a profit.

As societies become more complex, governments must do more. That's simply historical fact. In order to be a part of a civilized society, we must allow government to do certain things for the common good. Even most serious libertarians (not the cartoonish idiots of the national Libertarian Party) would not argue that today's government should not provide a common currency, a military, police, fire protection, etc... Some things simply can only be properly provided through government entities because they exist for the common good, not as profit-creating machines.

This does not mean we move closer to a classical socialist economy, merely that we keep the free market business sector, while letting government handle certain functions at the cost of slightly higher taxes.

We could also save taxpayer money by privatizing or eliminating many unnecessary government bodies, such as the post office. There are many functions best handled by the private sector, just as some things are best handled by government.

We can certainly free private business of the burden of trying to provide social services, which cripples them now, and could kill their ability to compete if their burden is expanded.

Unfortunately, I don't think much will change. In this country, we have become too fond of inertia, too fearful of any change. At the end of the day, our monopolies that masquerade as free market capitalism, and bureaucrats who fear losing the next election will keep the status quo with a few token reforms, I think.

Writer's Block: Scorching day

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:11:51 GMT

On a scorching day, do you prefer the beach or an air-conditioned movie theater?

View 1245 Answers

Spart is a son of a beach. Definitely.

I love water - and be it lake or ocean, I love the beach. Especially an ocean beach. Some of my best childhood memories are of going to the beach, and to this day I am an excellent swimmer.

My mother was a surfer girl from Camarillo, California, and she had me in the water before I could walk. My love of the ocean is tied up with my better memories of her. The feel of hot sand on my bare feet, the smell of salt water, and the sound of waves crashing are a better combination than any drug or drink I've ever had.

Our culture almost took this love away from me when I hit about 13 or so and realized I was fat. I still managed to make it to the beach, even if it was wearing a T-shirt. Now that I'm in my 30s and married, it doesn't bother me so much and I can go to the beach without worrying a lot about how I look. Although I still like as much privacy as possible.

I always feel at home in the water, more graceful than I can ever be on land. I've never been bothered by deep water, strong currents, or thoughts of what animals might be sharing the water. When I was boy, that meant I was prone to take foolish chances - like proving I could make it from a swimming beach at Lake Murray to the island across the way. I've grown wiser as I've gotten older, but I still love a good, long swim. (And I really like a swim by moonlight, when it can be arranged without risking arrest by an overzealous park ranger.)

A lake or ocean is a wilderness. Going into the water is just like hiking in the woods. You must always be aware of your surroundings and careful to respect them. Other than that, have fun!

I'm hoping we'll be able to take our Thanksgiving trip to South Padre this year.

And yes, I'm a Pisces, in case you couldn't tell.

Happy Birthday!

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 13:58:20 GMT

To the reigning regent of all things Arabesque, sultaness , also Pontificus Maximus of Ponyland.

I hope you have an excellent birthday filled with friends, fun and awesome food stuffs!

She/He/Centaur? Next Time Just Text Me

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 12:28:26 GMT

I had a bizarre dream last night that felt like it had some significance, but damned if I know what it was.

I was walking through the grounds of what looked like a 19th Century English country manor house. As I went through a carefully landscaped garden, A woman rose from a marble bench and smiled at me.

She said she needed to talk with me, so we started walking together. She was beautiful, with red-gold hair that sort of bounced around her head. She was dressed in a form-fitting conservative skirt-and-blouse business outfit and had a light accent I couldn't place.

She started telling me something vitally important that I can't recall now that the dream is over, but I kept focusing on how attractive she was.

Finally, she looked at me and laughed.

"This won't do," she said. And promptly turned into a portly, balding man.

He continued on with whatever vital information the messenger was there to impart, but I interrupted him.

"Why did you do that?" I asked. And I swear I was pouting.

"My form was distracting you. You aren't attracted to this form," he said.

So I changed him back into the woman!

She seemed to be both annoyed and slightly amused.

"I don't have time for this," she sighed. Then she added under her breath, "well, if he's going to be like that ..."

And she became the centaur Chiron from Greek mythology. I'm not sure how I knew it was specifically Chiron (probably the one centaur whose word I would accept on almost anything) because, after all, a horse is a horse, is a horse, of course. Unless of course the horse is Chiron, the centaur philosopher and tutor of heroes.

I tried to turn him back into the woman and failed.

"Now, listen to me," Chiron said. "I don't have much longer."

So I did. We walked into a forest while he delivered the rest of the message, whatever it was.

I feel like this dream contained vital information from someone or something (even if it was just my subconscious mind), that isn't meant for my waking self. Whenever I try to remember the message, It's just gibberish, like a movie dubbed in a foreign language with which you aren't the least bit familiar, or a recording played back at super high speed.

I wish I understood my own mind.

All We Have in Common - is Ramen

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 17:25:27 GMT

This country will eventually be brought to ruin by the gradually escalating conflict between two warring factions bent on dominating American culture.

I am, of course, referring to the dispute raging since 1970 between those people who eat their Ramen noodles as soup - "Soupers" - and those who eat the noodles sans liquid - "Noodlers."

While it is easy to over-simplify this debate into a mere disagreement over how to best prepare the staple food of more and more Americans, it is about far more than that. This is a disagreement over the very moral underpinnings of our society.

Soupers are well-known for their degenerate sexual proclivities, while Noodlers have a documented penchant for bizarre and dangerous religious rites. Both sides accuse one another of infanticide, child molestation, cannibalism, and the misuse of condiments.

Atrocities, such as the Cleveland Souper Massacre of 1993 and the earlier Noodler "purification camps" shut down in rural Minnesota during the summer of 1987, have carved a bloody trail across the continent, hardening loyalties down several generations of Americans as the body count rises.

But what about the rest of us? For those people, like myself, who are moderates in the Ramen Schism, there is a sense of desparation as we seem to be shouting hopelessly for everyone to stop the brutal bloodshed between the two groups and seek common ground and rational dialogue. For do we not all have Ramen in common, no matter how the meal is prepared?

Those words, "All We Have In Common is Ramen"were written in an illiterate scrawl across a men's room stall in a college dormitory where I once resided. It was a plea for peace.

I have eaten Ramen both as soup, and as dry noodles. Yes, I have even added random bits of vegetables and leftover meat, along with all sorts of spices, in an attempt to make the meal more palatable. I know, I weep openly with fear and shame as I type that confession.

But I feel freer for it. Have I harmed anyone with my gustatory experimentation? Ask yourself that question. For all of us are both Soupers and Noodlers, somewhere inside. Both are valid mealtime expressions, even adding foreign ingredients to Ramen does no harm, despite society's taboos.

Sure, Soupers have a valid point that Ramen is sold in the "soup" aisle at the grocery store. And Noodlers are correct to point out that the picture on Ramen packaging shows dry noodles. But it is time to move past those old arguments.

So the time has come for all of us to drop our weapons and pick up our spoons or forks, or even chopsticks! Someday, our children will eat together around the microwave of brother and sisterhood, as one community united by carbohydrates and sodium.

The Queen of all Renn-faires!

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:24:05 GMT

Check out this I-Report from CNN. I would have loved to attend this!

http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-305434

Six Shots on a Wednesday Morning

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:26:36 GMT

1. I would like to take a trip. Anywhere. Right now. Tropical beaches and loud, glitzy casinos have first priority.

2. The car we have owned for a month is still being repaired. When the mechanics replaced the engine, a motor mount broke. Fuck me. We will hopefully get it back before school starts in August. I can't cover the education beat very well without a car.

3. We have a pickup rehearsal tonight for the last weekend of "Dearly Departed."

4. I'm reading an interesting book right now called "The First Paul," by a pair of theologians. They examine the letters attributed to Paul in the New Testament and argue that only seven are legitimate and later works attributed to Paul radically changed his original message to bring it more in line with traditional Roman society's views on gender relations, slavery and temporal authority. In addition, they have a lively discussion of differing interpretations of works attributed to Paul by Protestants and Catholics. As someone who has always wrestled with the writings of Paul, which incorporate the absolute best and worst of Christian theology, it's fun reading. Their premise may or may not be right, but worth a look regardless.

5. Lawton voters will be asked to approve a city sales tax and a slight increase in ad valorem taxes in October, both to benefit local schools. Odds are, they won't go for it. Times are hard, and there is a lot of antipathy toward taxation here. I understand that, although I will be voting for the measures. What I don't understand is the "free lunch" mentality a lot of Lawtonians have. They want services, good schools, growth, etc... But they don't want to pay taxes. Where the bloody hell do you think the money comes from to do those things? I understand being willing to forego those things in order to pay less taxes. That's a legitimate position. But don't tell me in the same breath that you won't vote for tax increases and "the city/county/schools/state/federal government needs to do X." Governments run on taxes. Everything costs money. Be for it, or against it, either position is reasonable. But don't tell me you basically want something for nothing.

6. I wish opera capes would come back into fashion.

Just for the Record

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:55:45 GMT

First, this is not aimed at anyone on my LJ Flist.

That said:

To half my acquaintances - Not everything has to involve space aliens, magic spells, vampires, explosions or sex to be worth watching/reading.

To the other half of my acquaintances - Just because something involves space aliens, magic spells, vampires, explosions or sex doesn't mean it's not worth watching/reading.

Balance, people.

BALANCE.

Random Thoughts on Free Market Economics, or the Invisible Hand Keeping Me Awake at 3 a.m.

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 13:09:32 GMT

Our recent economic collapse was the result of a lot of factors, but it was was not a failure of capitalism as some neo-Marxists would have us believe.

Capitalism didn't fail us - we failed capitalism.

First, let me set this up for you. I am a firm believer in free market economics. But, I also realize that our model of how the free market works is outdated. This is one of the reasons why I get annoyed with the party I most closely identify with, the Libertarians.

The Libertarian Party is desperately clinging to an 18-19th Century model of market operation that is no longer completely accurate. In this respect, they are as ridiculous and out-of-touch as those poor souls who still think actual Soviet or Maoist style Communism is a good idea.

The modern market is far more complex and interconnected with, well, everything, than the market of bygone days, which was based mainly around trade conglomerates, individually-owned factories, and various small merchants and tradesmen. Adam Smith et al. had no basis for thinking about today's huge interdependent corporations and banks, all of which are interwoven with governments in the way that the roots of a forest intersect one another below the ground.

A part of what went wrong in the recent crash was more than a decade of very little, and inappropriately-managed regulation.

Yes, minimal government regulation which allows the market to work is a good thing, leading to prosperity and an overall healthy economy. However, the key is having that minimal regulation in place and consistently enforced.

Little or no regulation in a modern economy creates the exact opposite of a free market - monopolies, and vast megacorporations cooperating with one another to cheat the system. (Remember the phrase "too big to fail?" It was true, but you have to ask why we let it get to that point.)

That's not free market capitalism, folks.

Government regulation in a modern economy must protect the concept of competition, which is absolutely necessary for capitalism to work.

Exactly how that works should be left to brighter minds than my own.

But I do know that such a system needs a neutral referee. Another issue contributing to our economic downturn was the fact that the watchmen appear to have been in on the game. most of them had a personal financial stake in the corporations they were supposed to be watching.

Our economic system, and our nation in general needs to learn the value of balance and moderation - and the difference between healthy ambition and short-sighted greed.

White Wedding (Mini-fiction, based on writing prompt. One hour, unedited)

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:12:27 GMT

Ann's head was rotting on a stake outside the church.

David wasn't surprised to see it. He'd expected no less from his sister. Lucretia's cruelty was infamous, not only in the little fiefdom she had carved for herself, but throughout the region. And he had dreamed of this very scene two nights before: his murdered wife's severed head posted outside a desecrated church where his sister intended to marry today and seal her alliance with the Hellions.

What did surprise him was his reaction. David had expected to be filled with overwhelming grief and rage at this moment. Instead, he felt only the hollow, bitter ache of sadness. Anger and mourning had already passed. David felt only the unhappy fatalistic certainty of what he must do, and the desire to let it be done and over.

He walked briskly past the bit of flesh that had once been part of his lovely Ann, then past the first row of motorcycles belonging to the Hellions. David didn't see the armored pickups with gunner's mounts that Lucretia's men usually used to patrol her town, but he figured they were parked in the back lot somewhere. With her usual arrogance, Lucretia had probably decided she didn't need such mundane protection today.

Of course, she probably wasn't expecting him. Prescience was one of the few Talents she lacked, just as he lacked her ability to compel obedience in the mundanes telepathically. Both of them were already the subject of legends and tall tales. Since the so-called Apocalypse a mere three years before, civilization had fallen, to be replaced with brute force and the powers of the Enlightened.

David had never liked that term for those who had developed enhanced psychic abilities since the world had changed. There was nothing enlightened about most of his peers. No, David preferred the old words the common people had brought back into usage, words once reserved for fiction and fringe religious movements. Words like "witch," "wizard," "warlock" and their equivalents from cultures outside of the old United States.

He was the Wizard David, famous for fighting beside the Texas Rangers in their war against the Eldritch - beings who came pouring out of shimmering portals in the Chihuahuan Desert right after the Earth's poles shifted, signaling the beginning of the changes after the Third World War. And now his family problems had finally spiralled down to the evil end which he had seen coming for years.

He had come to kill Lucretia.

At the bidding of the President of West Texas, Ann had tried to stop her diplomatically from using her forces to attack the newly-organized First Nation, which had claimed valuable lands near Lucretia's home.

Lucretia hadn't even bothered to reply to the mission. But David felt his wife's murder and began the long trip north.

Now it was all over - except for what he should have done years ago.

David approached the front of the church. It was an old stone building, with stained-glass windows. Judging from the markings and architecture, it had probably been a Catholic or Episcopalian church before the Apocalypse. Now, the sign for one of the Eldritch Overlords was drawn in blood over the doors.

"It figures that she serves the Eldritch now," David muttered.

Outside the church's doors were two guards, a young man wearing the sleeveless denim colors of the Hellions, and an older man who wore Lucretia's Rose-and-Razorwire emblem pinned to his shirt. They casually reached for the pistols on their belts as David approached.

David reached out with his mind and stopped the Hellion's heart. Then he made a casual twisting motion with his hand, crushing the other man's throat. Mundanes were easy prey when caught off guard.

He threw open the church's heavy oak double doors and walked into the foyer.

Another guard was stationed there. She pointed a shotgun at him and fired.

The buckshot pounded against a telekinetic shield David raised around himself.

He looked at her, released a focused pulse of power and the guard burst into roaring flames that quickly consumed her.

David walked past the dead guard, into the sanctuary. The Hellions stood on one side of the church, unarmed for the occasion. Lucretia's followers stood on the otherside, equally ill-prepared.

Lucretia stood before an altar to the Eldritch she served in a lace-trimmed wedding dress the color of new-fallen snow. Beside her was her intended, the Hellion King, with his denim colors worn over an old-fashioned tuxedo. A broadsword hung from a belt at his waist, probably some remnant of the Rennaissance Fair scene from before the Apocalypse, now taken seriously as a ceremonial weapon.

He reached for the blade and David raised his hand to pour out a blast of telekinetic energy that threw the biker into the altar, smashing his skull.

The priest of the Eldritch who had been standing quietly behind the altar turned and ran for a back door. David let him go. Someone needed to tell their final tale.

"Is this your Superman?" David asked his sister, gesturing at the dead biker slumped against the altar. "He wasn't so much. Handsome, though."

"You shouldn't have come," Lucretia said. "Now you will die just like Ann. I would have let you live, you know."

"I let you go for so long," David said. "But I'm going to end your madness now."

"You're strong, but I'm stronger," Lucretia said, with a smile that would have been angelic if he didn't know she was an evil, petty queen of people who served her out of fear and ambition.

David could feel the searing pain as fire ripped through his body, despite his psychic defenses. The flames leapt over his body at once, supernaturally hot and quick.

"It doesn't matter, Lucretia," he said. "It's a nice day for a white wedding. And our funeral."

With the last of everything that was his to use, David reached out to the building around him and shook it with the power of his fleeing soul.

Guests died around him as the church's second story, roof, and stone walls collapsed upon them all.

As David died, the last sight imprinted on his eyes was the heavy bronze crucifix that had topped the church's steeple crushing his sister as she screamed in defiance of her own mortality.

Priceless Offensive One-Liner

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 21:46:22 GMT

Last night, Mrs. Spart and I were shopping in Wal-Mart, late.

Mrs. Spart: Ew. They have Hannah Montana cereal now.

Spart: And it's just like the singer - tasteless, too sweet, and you feel vaguely guilty if you think about eating it.

*Rimshot*

I'm No Prince, But I Can Be Charming Sometimes

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 12:56:12 GMT

What was your favorite fairy tale as a child?

Submitted By wolfy284

View 503 Answers

I always liked "Sleeping Beauty."

As a boy, I could appreciate it from the perspective of the prince, especially in the Disney movie, where he must battle a dragon to get to her. It just seemed like the kind of thing a prince ought to be doing. Fighting dragons to save princesses (or anyone, for that matter) is part of the princely job description in a fairy tale setting. The true love part was nice too, but as an adult I find it kind of contrived. We need some more backstory on why the prince loves her.

I also liked the aspect of the three good witches (or fairies, I don't remember which, but I think I always thought of them as witches) blessing the baby girl with various positive attributes at her christening, and then the evil one crashing the party and cursing her, partly out of spite. Something about that resonated with me at a mythic level for some reason.

At the other end of the spectrum, I hated Snow White for some reason. It made me depressed and the Disney movie made me afraid of apples for several months.

Boldly Going

Sun, 10 May 2009 14:46:01 GMT

We finally saw Star Trek last night. As a lifelong Trekkie, I loved it and whole-heartedly recommend it. Best part - the character of Kirk without Shatner's sorry acting and poor understanding of the character. Hopefully, this is the start of a new series of movies.

However, a few thoughts (good and bad) under here (if you haven't seen the movie and don't want spoilers, don't look just yet):

1. I like the idea of basically creating a Trek II alternate timeline. This allows for a reboot without negating everything that came before.

2. So, when Vulcan is having its "seismic disturbances," Starfleet sends its recruits? Okay, I can explain this one to myself, but that's really the writer and director's responsibility. My answer is that the ships docked at Earth were the closest available vessels. It's an emergency, so Starfleet filled out the crews of those ships with the best warm bodies they had at their disposal - the senior year cadets. It's established Trek canon that 23rd Century Starfleet was a freewheeling, swashbuckling organization, more like the 16th or 17th Century British Navy than our modern American Navy. That's important to remember with all the crazy, non-military (by current viewpoints) decisions Starfleet makes.

3. So, to enlist in Starfleet, one simply gets on a shuttle? See point 2.

4. Ensign Sulu's switchkatana? Got to get me one of those. But something tells me they are illegal under Federation law.

5. Okay, the Cadets-Shanghaied-into-Active-Service plot point aside, when the Enterprise arrives at Vulcan to find a large part of the fleet destroyed by the renegade Romulan, this was the best and only way to get these young pups into key senior-crew level positions right away. It also opens up the field for a lot of young turks to get battlefield promotions later. Starfleet lost seven (I think) important vessels in one fell swoop at Vulcan.

6. Okay, the movie's over. Kirk, the 25-year-old cadet who was about to be booted from the Academy, gets a promotion to Captain (!) of the fleet flagship (ZOMG. I mean, I know he saved a lot of people and planets, but come on, Captain of the flagship, at 25!!!). However, Commander Spock, a decorated, experienced officer, doesn't even get jumped one rank to make Captain, and ends up being Kirk's XO? I know, see point 2, right? But damn, that's ... illogical. Even considering he made several poor decisions while in command of the Enterprise, the two worst ones involving Kirk.

7. I'll end on a high note. I like how the actor playing Kirk gets Kirk's intelligence. The way the character was always written, yes he's arrogant, horny, violent and iconoclastic. But he's also supposed to be brilliant. In the original series he was the youngest Captain of a ship ever in Starfleet at 35. He can beat Vulcans at 3-D chess, he's a master tactician and a lightning-fast creative thinker. Shatner never quite got the brains element to Kirk and the new guy does.

Overall, two gladius' up, and a welcome new beginning to a giant of our pop culture.

Spart Starts a Meme! Please Pass It On, If So Inclined

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 17:31:10 GMT

Good Things Come in Threes.

1. Name three things you would like to own, but they are too frivolous/expensive to buy for yourself:

a. A pair of rattlesnake hide cowboy boots.

b. A set of professional-quality cookware/cooking utensils.

c. A Desert Eagle .50 pistol.

2. Name three books that influenced your life:

a. "Candide" by Voltaire.

b. "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley.

c. "Dune" by Frank Herbert. (Kind of low-brow, I know, but I read it at an impressionable age and it really made me think about politics, religion, and subtle means of influence.)

3. Name three historical figures you admire:

a. Gen. Henry Knox.

b. William Shakespeare.

c. Charlemagne.

4. Name three skills you do not possess, but wish you could master:

a. Singing. I can't carry a tune in a backpack. I love music and have always admired talented singers.

b. Dancing. While I'm actually fairly agile for a fat guy, my movements lack grace and beauty.

c. Carpentry. I'm not very good at working with wood. It would be a handy skill.

5. Share three life goals you have not yet accomplished:

a. Get a novel published, through a real publishing company. (Not a vanity press. That's cheating.)

b. Become FLUENT in a foreign language.

c. Run in, and complete, a marathon. (Go ahead and laugh.)

I can't wait to see your responses!

Just One Question Meme - Ganked from Matt the Brit

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 22:07:25 GMT

So, a meme:

1 question.

1 chance.

1 honest answer.

That's all you get.

You get to ask me 1 question.

Any question, anything, no matter how crazy, dirty, or wrong it is.

One catch, for me at least. I will not reveal anything that will get anyone else in trouble/drag their name through the mud.

But I dare you to repost this.

And see what people ask you!

Comments are screened.

Ever Want to Kick My Ass?

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:27:12 GMT

http://foamhammer.mybrute.com

Follow the link and make it happen. Silly little fighting game (although you don't control the fights! It's all automatic. But a fun little time-waster nonetheless.

Go and join! Foamhammer the Barbarian commands it!