Welcome to the Coliseum

To my favorite member of the medical profession, mztasia !!!

Life may be crazy, but you're seriously blessed. Keep plugging away at the new degree and enjoy a celebration with your family!

To that resident of the Shire, a computer geek extraordinaire, who loves her grandson and doesn't hesitate to get nekkid for a good cause ...

be4u !!!!!

May your next year of life bring you happiness and blessings.

Mythology:

The young Earth was visited by her lover, the Sky. After their lovemaking, Earth became pregnant. Soon, she gave birth to a lovely daughter, the Moon.

Science:

Early in our planet's history, when much of the Earth's surface was molten, a planet-sized asteroid hit the surface, creating a powerful explosion that sent about 70 percent of the Earth's molten surface into orbit, where gravity caused it to coalesce into a single large mass, our moon, locked in orbit around the planet.

How an event is seen depends on what knowledge and experience we  bring to the witnessing of it.

To my beautiful bride, mrs_spart !

She's the most wonderful woman in the world, and I am privileged to be her husband.

I went  to Wright's Donuts this morning (I'm a fat guy, I do that sometimes) for a couple of glazed chocolate numbers.

The baker, apparently psychically determining I have an English degree, offers that something witty he said that I don't remember (my mind was in Homer Simpson mode, not blind bard Homer mode) was a palindrome. Then he expands on that theme.

Baker: Do you know what the world's oldest palindrome is?

Spart: Huh?

Baker:  "Madam, I'm Adam!"

Spart: No, that was my answer, "huh. H-U-H."

Baker: Oooh!

Teh Intrawebs is up and down like a teeter-totter at Trailer de Spart. So we will be posting only sporadically for a week or so, probably.

1. Being a man is about living honorably, fulfilling your obligations and controlling your own destiny as much as possible.

2. Relationships with women are complicated in the modern world. You must always strive to find a balance between respecting them as different but equal and obeying the expectations of tradition and chivalry. Always let the individual woman set the tone for your interactions so you can learn how she wishes you to treat her. Sometimes you will fail at this and have to ask for forgiveness.

3. Never prejudge a person's intelligence or abilities based on his/her job or financial status. I've met janitors who were intellectuals and college professors and elected officials who were idiots.

4. Balls, brains, and bullshit (in that order) will take you far in life.

5. Be wary of bowing down to gods or governments, but show them due respect.

6. Avoid machismo. It's fake masculinity for those who wouldn't know the real thing if it bit them on the ass. A real man is humble, open to new things, and knows that boasting is for drunks and children.

7. Never stop learning new things, even when they are out of your areas of expertise. No one ever failed at something because he knew too much, but a lot of people fail because they are ignorant.

8. Treat everyone with basic respect, until they have earned your disrespect.

9. Violence should always be your last resort. But if it's called for, do your damnedest and don't hesitate.

10.  A sense of humor and the ability to communicate effectively with anyone can be two of your most valuable tools in life.

11. Everyone is afraid, they just hide it. Courage is acting in spite of fear.

12. Find a good partner to share your life - someone who is not only a lover, but a friend, confidant, advisor and companion.

I have a lot of sympathy for people who suffer from autism. You can feel them trapped inside themselves, unable to connect properly with the outside world, like they have some kind of faulty interface mechanism.

Today I did a story about a special education class making American Flags to commemorate 9/11. Pretty standard feel-good stuff.

But, like all special ed classes, this was very mixed group.  Among them was an autistic girl - a senior - who is not quite to the level of functional, but obviously bright, with an excellent vocabulary.

Unlike the two autistic boys in the group, she wasn't too nervous to be interviewed. It was a chore to interview her. Getting past the twists and roadblocks an autistic person has is difficult, but not always impossible. Especially when dealing with someone trying as hard as she was. And she was so happy, so eager to win approval.

I felt so bad for her, because I could almost glimpse the young woman she might have been without this thing blocking her every attempt to deal with anything or anyone outside herself.

She's a Katrina refugee. She told me about how she used to take private painting lessons when she lived in New Orleans and she loves any chance to paint, even something simple like a flag.

After everything she's been through, all I could do was silently wish this kid the best. From various clues, I can deduce she has a decent family. I just hope they are there to protect her and care for her next year, when she's no longer in the public school system.

As always when I deal with special ed, it bothers me that kids like her get lumped in with everything from victims of mental retardation to juvenile delinquents who have emotional problems to those poor kids who are practically vegetables.

There has to be a better way, but damned if I know how we can accomplish it in the public school system.

I'm listening to the President's speech and thinking about the plan he is currently outlining.

While I've spent much time defending Obama on this issue, mainly from misinformation, misunderstandings, and flat-out lies, it's now appropriate for me to outline where I respectfully differ with his proposal.

( My opinion, for what it's worth )


Unfortunately, I don't think much will change. In this country, we have become too fond of inertia, too fearful of any change. At the end of the day, our monopolies that masquerade as free market capitalism, and bureaucrats who fear losing the next election will keep the status quo with a few token reforms, I think.

Spart is a son of a beach. Definitely.

I love water - and be it lake or ocean, I love the beach. Especially an ocean beach. Some of my best childhood memories are of going to the beach, and to this day I am an excellent swimmer.

My mother was a surfer girl from Camarillo, California, and she had me in the water before I could walk. My love of the ocean is tied up with my better memories of her. The feel of hot sand on my bare feet, the smell of salt water, and the sound of waves crashing are a better combination than any drug or drink I've ever had.

Our culture almost took this love away from me when I hit about 13 or so and realized I was fat. I still managed to make it to the beach, even if it was wearing a T-shirt. Now that I'm in my 30s and married, it doesn't bother me so much and I can go to the beach without worrying a lot about how I look. Although I still like as much privacy as possible.

I always feel at home in the water, more graceful than I can ever be on land. I've never been bothered by deep water, strong currents, or thoughts of what animals might be sharing the water. When I was boy, that meant I was prone to take foolish chances - like proving I could make it from a swimming beach at Lake Murray to the island across the way. I've grown wiser as I've gotten older, but I still love a good, long swim. (And I really like a swim by moonlight, when it can be arranged without risking arrest by an overzealous park ranger.)

A lake or ocean is a wilderness. Going into the water is just like hiking in the woods. You must always be aware of your surroundings and careful to respect them. Other than that, have fun!

I'm hoping we'll be able to take our Thanksgiving trip to South Padre this year.

And yes, I'm a Pisces, in case you couldn't tell.

To the reigning regent of all things Arabesque, sultaness , also Pontificus Maximus of Ponyland.

I hope you have an excellent birthday filled with friends, fun and awesome food stuffs!

I had a bizarre dream last night that felt like it had some significance, but damned if I know what it was.

I was walking through the grounds of what looked like a 19th Century English country manor house. As I went through a carefully landscaped garden, A woman rose from a marble bench and smiled at me.

She said she needed to talk with me, so we started walking together. She was beautiful, with red-gold hair that sort of bounced around her head. She was dressed in a form-fitting conservative skirt-and-blouse business outfit and had a light accent I couldn't place.

She started telling me something vitally important that I can't recall now that the dream is over, but I kept focusing on how attractive she was.

Finally, she looked at me and laughed.

"This won't do," she said. And promptly turned into a portly, balding man.

He continued on with whatever vital information the messenger was there to impart, but I interrupted him.

"Why did you do that?" I asked. And I swear I was pouting.

"My form was distracting you. You aren't attracted to this form," he said.

So I changed him back into the woman!

She seemed to be both annoyed and slightly amused.

"I don't have time for this," she sighed. Then she added under her breath, "well, if he's going to be like that ..."

And she became the centaur Chiron from Greek mythology. I'm not sure how I knew it was specifically Chiron (probably the one centaur whose word I would accept on almost anything) because, after all, a horse is a horse, is a horse, of course. Unless of course the horse is Chiron, the centaur philosopher and tutor of heroes.

I tried to turn him back into the woman and failed.

"Now, listen to me," Chiron said. "I don't have much longer."

So I did. We walked into a forest while he delivered the rest of the message, whatever it was.

I feel like this dream contained vital information from someone or something (even if it was just my subconscious mind), that isn't meant for my waking self. Whenever I try to remember the message, It's just gibberish, like a movie dubbed in a foreign language with which you aren't the least bit familiar, or a recording played back at super high speed.

I wish I understood my own mind.

This country will eventually be brought to ruin by the gradually escalating conflict between two warring factions bent on dominating American culture.

I am, of course, referring to the dispute raging since 1970 between those people who eat their Ramen noodles as soup - "Soupers" - and those who eat the noodles sans liquid - "Noodlers."

While it is easy to over-simplify this debate into a mere disagreement over how to best prepare the staple food of more and more Americans, it is about far more than that. This is a disagreement over the very moral underpinnings of our society.

Soupers are well-known for their degenerate sexual proclivities, while Noodlers have a documented penchant for bizarre and dangerous religious rites. Both sides accuse one another of infanticide, child molestation, cannibalism, and the misuse of condiments.

Atrocities, such as the Cleveland Souper Massacre of 1993 and the earlier Noodler "purification camps" shut down in rural Minnesota during the summer of 1987, have carved a bloody trail across the continent, hardening loyalties down several generations of Americans as the body count rises.

But what about the rest of us? For those people, like myself, who are moderates in the Ramen Schism, there is a sense of desparation as we seem to be shouting hopelessly for everyone to stop the brutal bloodshed between the two groups and seek common ground and rational dialogue. For do we not all have Ramen in common, no matter how the meal is prepared?

Those words, "All We Have In Common is Ramen"were written in an illiterate scrawl across a men's room stall in a college dormitory where I once resided. It was a plea for peace.

I have eaten Ramen both as soup, and as dry noodles. Yes, I have even added random bits of vegetables and leftover meat, along with all sorts of spices, in an attempt to make the meal more palatable. I know, I weep openly with fear and shame as I type that confession.

But I feel freer for it. Have I harmed anyone with my gustatory experimentation? Ask yourself that question. For all of us are both Soupers and Noodlers, somewhere inside. Both are valid mealtime expressions, even adding foreign ingredients to Ramen does no harm, despite society's taboos.

Sure, Soupers have a valid point that Ramen is sold in the "soup" aisle at the grocery store. And Noodlers are correct to point out that the picture on Ramen packaging shows dry noodles. But it is time to move past those old arguments.

So the time has come for all of us to drop our weapons and pick up our spoons or forks, or even chopsticks! Someday, our children will eat together around the microwave of brother and sisterhood,  as one community united by carbohydrates and sodium.

Check out this I-Report from CNN. I would have loved to attend this!

http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-305434

1. I would like to take a trip. Anywhere. Right now. Tropical beaches and loud, glitzy casinos have first priority.

2. The car we have owned for a month is still being repaired. When the mechanics replaced the engine, a motor mount broke. Fuck me. We will hopefully get it back before school starts in August. I can't cover the education beat very well without a car.

3. We have a pickup rehearsal tonight for the last weekend of "Dearly Departed."

4. I'm reading an interesting book right now called "The First Paul," by a pair of theologians. They examine the letters attributed to Paul in the New Testament and argue that only seven are legitimate and later works attributed to Paul radically changed his original message to bring it more in line with traditional Roman society's views on gender relations, slavery and temporal authority. In addition, they have a lively discussion of differing interpretations of works attributed to Paul by Protestants and Catholics. As someone who has always wrestled with the writings of Paul, which incorporate the absolute best and worst of Christian theology, it's fun reading. Their premise may or may not be right, but worth a look regardless.

5. Lawton voters will be asked to approve a city sales tax and a slight increase in ad valorem taxes in October, both to benefit local schools. Odds are, they won't go for it. Times are hard, and there is a lot of antipathy toward taxation here. I understand that, although I will be voting for the measures. What I don't understand is the "free lunch" mentality a lot of Lawtonians have. They want services, good schools, growth, etc... But they don't want to pay taxes. Where the bloody hell do you think the money comes from to do those things? I understand being willing to forego those things in order to pay less taxes. That's a legitimate position. But don't tell me in the same breath that you won't vote for tax increases and "the city/county/schools/state/federal government needs to do X."  Governments run on taxes. Everything costs money. Be for it, or against it, either position is reasonable. But don't tell me you basically want something for nothing.

6. I wish opera capes would come back into fashion.

First, this is not aimed at anyone on my LJ Flist.

That said:

To half my acquaintances - Not everything has to involve space aliens, magic spells, vampires, explosions or sex to be worth watching/reading.

To the other half of my acquaintances - Just because something involves space aliens, magic spells, vampires, explosions or sex doesn't mean it's not worth watching/reading.

Balance, people.

BALANCE.

Our recent economic collapse was the result of a lot of factors, but it was was not a failure of capitalism as some neo-Marxists would have us believe.

Capitalism didn't fail us - we failed capitalism.

First, let me set this up for you. I am a firm believer in free market economics. But, I also realize that our model of how the free market works is outdated. This is one of the reasons why I get annoyed with the party I most closely identify with, the Libertarians.

The Libertarian Party is desperately clinging to an 18-19th Century model of market operation that is no longer completely accurate. In this respect, they are as ridiculous and out-of-touch as those poor souls who still think actual Soviet or Maoist style Communism is a good idea.

The modern market is far more complex and interconnected with, well, everything, than the market of bygone days, which was based mainly around trade conglomerates, individually-owned factories, and various small merchants and tradesmen. Adam Smith et al. had no basis for thinking about today's huge interdependent corporations and banks, all of which are interwoven with governments in the way that the roots of a forest intersect one another below the ground.

A part of what went wrong in the recent crash was more than a decade of very little, and inappropriately-managed regulation.

Yes, minimal government regulation which allows the market to work is a good thing, leading to prosperity and an overall healthy economy.  However, the key is having that minimal regulation in place and consistently enforced.

Little or no regulation in a modern economy creates the exact opposite of a free market - monopolies, and vast megacorporations cooperating with one another to cheat the system.  (Remember the phrase "too big to fail?" It was true, but you have to ask why we let it get to that point.)

That's not free market capitalism, folks.

Government regulation in a modern economy must protect the concept of competition, which is absolutely necessary for capitalism to work.

Exactly how that works should be left to brighter minds than my own.

But I do know that such a system needs a neutral referee. Another issue contributing to our economic downturn was the fact that the watchmen appear to have been in on the game. most of them had a personal financial stake in the corporations they were supposed to be watching.

Our economic system, and our nation in general needs to learn the value of balance and moderation - and the difference between healthy ambition and short-sighted greed.

Ann's head was rotting on a stake outside the church.

( A story, of sorts. More of an exercise. I haven't been practicing my fiction writing lately )

Last night, Mrs. Spart and I were shopping in Wal-Mart, late.

Mrs. Spart: Ew. They have Hannah Montana cereal now.

Spart: And it's just like the singer - tasteless, too sweet, and you feel vaguely guilty if you think about eating it.

*Rimshot*

I always liked "Sleeping Beauty."

As a boy, I could appreciate it from the perspective of the prince, especially in the Disney movie, where he must battle a dragon to get to her. It just seemed like the kind of thing a prince ought to be doing. Fighting dragons to save princesses (or anyone, for that matter) is part of the princely job description in a fairy tale setting. The true love part was nice too, but as an adult I find it kind of contrived. We need some more backstory on why the prince loves her.

I also liked the aspect of the three good witches (or fairies, I don't remember which, but I think I always thought of them as witches) blessing the baby girl with various positive attributes at her christening, and then the evil one crashing the party and cursing her, partly out of spite. Something about that resonated with me at a mythic level for some reason.

At the other end of the spectrum, I hated Snow White for some reason. It made me depressed and the Disney movie made me afraid of apples for several months.